There are just some times in a busy girl’s life when you have to make a fast call on the ways to fake a clean house. Sure some of you are so diligent and have a pristine house worthy of a show home (big applause if you do) and never find yourself in this situation, but many of us are so caught up in other stuff (or hate housework, or are disorganized, or are procrastinators, or…) that our homes just aren’t as clean as we’d wish them to be. When that occasion suddenly arises when you need to give the impression you are the perfect homemaker (impress the new crush, show off to the boss, prevent your mom from picking fault etc…), here are some ways to fake a clean house.
1 Faking Clean Furniture
One of the easiest ways to fake a clean house is to reserve one side of the sofa and chair cushions. Quickly flip the cushions over for a like-new look. When guests are gone, flip them back. For stained upholstery, drape a decorative blanket over the sofa or chair, especially around armrests and areas that get a lot of use. Get rid of pet hair by wetting the fingertips of a pair of rubber gloves and running your hand over the upholstery; the gloves will pick up the pet hair. Plump up throw pillows.
Frequently asked questions
2 Faking a Clean Carpet or Rug
Vacuum if you can, since it raises the carpet fibers and makes the carpet look fluffed up. Shake out rugs and remove hair by rolling sticky lint roller over them. If there are stains on the carpet, try to cover them up with strategically placed rugs.
3 Faking Clean Floors
As long as you have the vacuum out, catch the dirt on the floors too. Throw scatter rugs over the worst spots. Do a quick spot cleaning with a damp rag.
4 Faking a Clean Sink and Tub
Wash the dishes if you can. If you can’t, put them in the dishwasher, in a large pot, under the sink, or even in the oven if you’re not going to use it. Then rinse out and pour a little baking soda or lemon juice in the drain. In the bathroom, wipe out all hairs or other debris then do the same. Pull the shower curtain shut. Wipe down faucets, and put all soap bottles under the counter. If possible, put a new bar of soap or bottle of liquid soap out.
5 Faking a Clean Stove/oven
If you ARE going to use the oven, then of course it’s out as a convenient dirty-dish storage area. Line all dirty areas with aluminum foil. Line drip guards beneath stove burners with aluminum foil as well.
6 Faking Clean Windows
Run a microfiber cloth quickly over window surfaces that may be seem dusty or dirty. Pull curtain panels closed.
7 Faking Clean Counters/tables
Gather all the clutter on the counters and put it into boxes. Store the boxes under the counter or in the bedroom, laundry room or garage. Throw trivets or placemats over stained areas on the counter or table. Put away any small appliances you’re not using that day to make counters appear less cluttered.
8 Faking a Clean Refrigerator
There isn’t a super quick way to clean your refrigerator, but if the kitchen looks clean and the refrigerator stinks, it might ruin the illusion of cleanliness. At least you can get rid of the refrigerator smell and make room for drinks for your guests. Take everything out of the fridge that you can. If something can be frozen, put it in the freezer. Wipe down all surfaces and replace things that must be refrigerated on the bottom shelves. Place things that don’t need to be refrigerated, like bread, oils or soy sauce, in a box and put in a cool location. Replace baking soda box.
9 Faking Clean Surfaces
Clean only shiny surfaces or surfaces that catch the eye. Just do a quick wipe of all other areas to get off crumbs and the like. Take down everything pasted to the refrigerator door, put into a plastic bag and take to the bedroom, garage or laundry room. Put up pictures, even ones printed from the computer, to cover stains on walls. Use microfiber cloths and quickly go over non-upholstered furniture like coffee tables. Do the same for appliances, like the television. Wipe mirrors down with a microfiber cloth.
10 Faking a Clean Smell
Boil orange peels on the stove, or choose any number of aromatic and pleasant spices, like cinnamon, cloves or nutmeg. Light candles. Spray a light spritz of fabric deodorizer or odor neutralizing spray. Don’t overwhelm visitors with heavy deodorant sprays, keep it light. Arrange a bouquet of fresh scented flowers.
11 Finishing Touches
One of the last steps to making your house look clean when it isn’t is to take care of a few small details before you finish up. Stack books and magazines in neat piles or put into decorative baskets or boxes. In a pinch, throw a small blanket over them and pretend they’re a table. Change out towels in the bathroom and kitchen. Take extra coats and shoes from the entry way into the bedroom, garage or laundry room. Quickly clean cobwebs off lighting and from corners, and take out the trash. Then, sit where your company will likely sit to see your house from their angle, and clean up anything you might have missed. And last of the secrets to fake a clean house is to shut the doors on any rooms you don’t want seen.
What other tricks and tips for how to fake a clean house do you have to share?
